1. Шерлок Холмс [06.08.02; Milen Lazarov]
 2. Deistvitelen sluchai ot bratskata suvetska strana [07.08.02; Nikolay Bankov]
 3. Men [07.08.02; Radostina Georgieva]
 4. Geography Lesson [19.08.02; Radostina Georgieva]
 5. The power of deductive thinking... [27.08.02; Nikolay Nikolov]

Шерлок Холмс

Решил Ватсон Шерлока Холмса отучить курить. Ладушки, - подумал Ватсон, когда Холмс вышел из комнаты, и, взяв его любимую трубку, поковырялся ею у себя в жопе. Спустя некоторое время Холмс вернулся и с наслаждением выкурил свою трубку. На следующий день Ватсон опять поковырялся любимой трубкой Холмса в своем отверстии и опять тот же результат... Прошел год... Шерлок Холмс так и не бросил курить, но Ватсон без трубки уже не мог.

Deistvitelen sluchai ot bratskata suvetska strana

Deistvitelna sluchka razkazana ot sluzitel na speshno otdelenie nqkude iz neobqtnata ruska zemq.
 
Pristigat v speshno otdelenie, zena s izgarqne na gurba vuv formata na krug i travma na glavata ot udar s tup predmet i muz s pochti othapana pishka. Kakvo se e sluchilo?
 
Stava sutrinta muzut i v stremeza si da proqvi galantnost, pochwa da pravi palachinki s ideqta da gi podnese na zenata v legloto. Subuzda se obache zenata malko po rano i se raztapq ot umilenie pri gledkata - muzut i da i pravi palachinki pochti gol v kuhnqta. Reshava tq da mu napravi kefa i klqka pred nego da mu posviri. Muzut sled malko zapochwa da se pravi na maistor i hvurlq palachinkata, obache ne uspqwa da q hvane i tq pada na gurba na zenata. Zenata ot vnezapnata bolka instinktivno stiska zubi i pochti othapva muzkoto mu dostoinstvo, puk toi panikiosan i uzasen, taka s tigan v ruka q iztrqskwa po glavata s nadezdata da otpusne zahapkata.

Men

1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW ... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Geography Lesson

The Geography of a Woman:

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild, and naturally beautiful with bush land around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed, and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Afghanistan. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past, but alas, no future.
After 70, they become Albania. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography of a Man:

Between the ages of 12 - 100 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a Dick.

The power of deductive thinking...

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me,can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, " You are in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am," replied the balloonist, " but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.
You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow it's my fault!!!!"