Local people called it the Bear Mountain. This was because it was a bare mountain, not because it had a lot of bears on it. This caused a certain amount of profitable confusion, though; people often strode into the nearest village with heavy duty crossbows, traps and nets and called haughtily for native guides to lead them to the bears. Since everyone locally was making quite a good living out of this, what with the sale of guide books, maps of bear caves, ornamental cuckoo-clocks with bears on them, bear walking-sticks and cakes baked in the shape of a bear, somehow no one had time to go and correct the spelling.

***

The only way housework could be done in this place was with a shovel or, for preference, a match.

***

A caring parent would have spelled Margaret correctly. And then she could have been a Peggy, or a Maggie -- big, robust names, full of reliability. There wasn't much you could do with a Magrat. It sounded like something that lived in a hole in a river bank and was always getting flooded out.

***

Granny disapproved of magic for domestic purposes, but she was annoyed. She also wanted her tea.
She threw a couple of logs into the fireplace and glared at them until they burst into flame out of sheer embarassment.

***

It was one of the weak spots of Granny Weatherwax's otherwise well-developed character that she'd never bothred to get the hang of steering things. It was alien to her nature. She took the view that it was her job to move and the rest of the world to arrange itself so that she arrived at her destination.

***

...Greebo, as a matter of feline pride, would attempt to fight or rape absolutely anything, up to and including a four-horse logging wagon. Ferocious dogs would whine and hide under the stairs when Greebo sauntered down the street. Foxes kept away from the village. Wolves made a detour.

***

"Have you brushed your tooth?"

***

...Nanny just tended to put a hot poultice on everything and recommend a large glass of whatever the patient liked best on the basis that since you were going to be ill anyway you might as well get some enjoyment out of it.

***

"It's far too early in the morning for it to be early in the morning."

***

Nanny Ogg sent a number of cards home to her family, not a single one of which got back before she did. This is traditional, and happens everywhere in the universe.

***

Granny Weatherwax's approach to foreign tongues was to repeat herself loudly and slowly.

***

Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people.

***

But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.

***

"Baths is unhygienic," Granny declared."You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that."

***

Anywey one good thing is the drink here is v. cheap theres this one called a Bananana dakry which is basicly Rum with a banananana in it.
[Footnote: Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling"banana," but didn't know how you stopped.]

***

Nanny Ogg would try anything once. Some things she'd try several thousand times.

***

She felt a bit ashamed of the thought. But not much.

***

"My name's Casanunda," he said."I'm reputed to be the world's greatest lover. What do you think?"
Nanny Ogg looked him up and down or, at least, down and further down.
"You're a dwarf,"; she said.
"Size isn't important."

***

Lily:"...it is the right slipper. So all we have to do is find the girl whose foot it fits--"
Nanny Ogg:"If it's a five-and-a-half narrow fit, I'm your man. Just let me get these boots off..."
Lily:"I wasn't referring to you, old woman."
Nanny Ogg:"Oh, yes you was. We know how this bit goes, see. The Prince goes all round the city with the slipper, trying to find the girl whose foot fits. That's what you was plannin'. So I can save you a bit of trouble, how about it?"
Lily:"A girl of marriageable age."
Nanny Ogg:"No problem there."

***

It had occurred to [Nanny Ogg] that a husband who was a man all night and a frog all day might be almost acceptable; you wouldn't get the wage packet, but there'd be less wear and tear on the furniture. She also couldn't put out of her mind certain private speculations about the length of his tongue.

***

"Look at the three of you," she said."Bursting with inefficient good intentions. The maiden, the mother, and the crone."
"Who are you calling a maiden?" said Nanny Ogg.
"Who are you calling a mother?" said Magrat.
Granny Weatherwax glowered briefly like the person who has discovered that there is only one straw left and everyone else has drawn a long one.

***

"I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs. Gogol.
"That's good," said Granny."I don't want you to hurt me either."

***

Nanny kicked her red boots together idly.
"Well, I suppose there's no place like home," she said.
"No," said Granny Weatherwax, still looking thoughtful."No. There's a billion places like home. But only one of 'em's where you live."

***

She had buried three husbands, and at least two of them had been already dead.

***

-"'S called the Vieux River."
-"Yes?"
-"Know what that means?"
-"No."
-"The Old (Masculine) River," said Nanny.
-"Yes?"
-"Words have sex in foreign parts," said Nanny hopefully.

***

"Anything's possible if you set your mind to it", said Granny vaguely.

***

[Granny] wasn't at all certain about the meaning of the word 'decadent'. She'd dismissed the possibility that it meant 'having ten teeth' in the same sense thaat Nanny Ogg, for example, was unident.

***

"It's not gambling to play against someone who's no good. It's common sense."

***