"Vetinari sends Commander Vimes as the Duke of Ankh-Morpork, along with his wife, to Uberwald to participate in the coronation of the new dwarf Low King and to act as an ambassador in trade talks. Carrot resigns from the Watch, to try and track down Angua, who has gone missing, so the only choice to take over the Watch in Vimes' absence is Sergeant Fred Colon. Within days the Watch in have been decimated, and the remaining stuff are on strike. Back in Uberwald, Vimes becomes embroiled in dwarf politics, and attempts to investigate the theft of the Scone of Stone, a replica of which had been stolen from the dwarf museum in Ankh-Morpork." "Terry Pratchet" by Andrew M Butler |
Targets |
Locked room mysteries, diplomacy, telecommunications, working conditions. |
All Jolson was a man who'd show up on an atlas and change the orbit of small planets. *** [All Jolson had] picked up the nickname by general acclaim, since no one seeing him in the street for the first time could believe that it was all Jolson. *** Vimes: "Let me see if I've got this right. Uberwald is like this big suet pudding that everyone's suddenly noticed, and now with this coronation as an excuse we've all got to rush there with knife, fork and spoon to shovel as much on our plates as possible?" Vetinari: "Your grasp of political reality is masterly, Vimes. You lack only the appropriate vocabulary." *** Sam Vimes could parallel-process. Most husbands could. They learn to follow their own line of thought while at the same time listening to what their wives say. And the listening is important, because at any time they could be challenged and must be ready to quote the last sentence in full. *** "Nothing good starts with 'I need your help.'" *** Colon: "I don't know how to do officering." *** Reg Shoe: "Afternoon, sergeant--" *** A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. *** Vetinari: "May I compliment you on the gleam of your armour, acting captain--" *** Lord Vetinari paused. He found it difficult to talk to Frederick Colon. He dealt on a daily basis with people who treated conversation as a complex game, and with Colon he had to keep on adjusting his mind in case he overshot. *** "You're humming, Sam," said Sybil, after a while. "That means something awful is going to happen to somebody." *** "Trouble is ... this is deep snow and I am a little doggie. My problems are closer to the ground. I hope I don't have to draw you a picture." *** He'd never bitten a hand that fed him. *** Vimes: "I'm sorry, I don't play your games." *** "...a lot of diplomacy lies in appearing to be a lot more stupid than you are. You've made a good start, your grace." *** Dogs had a much easier sex life than humans, Gaspode decided. That was somehing to look forward to, if he ever managed to have one. *** Carrot: "I don't think I want to see you fighting, though." *** People in drought-stricken areas would have paid good money to have Igor pronounce "sausages." *** As castles went, this one looked as though it could be taken by a small squad of not very efficient soldiers. Its builder had not been thinking about fortifications. He'd been influenced by fairytales and possibly by some of the more ornamental sorts of cake. It was a castle for looking at. For defence, putting a blanket over your head might be marginally safer. *** Lady Margolotta: "I believe you ver an alcoholic, Sir Samuel." *** Lady Margolotta: "Isn't he a treasure?" *** So this is diplomacy. It's like lying, only to a better class of people. *** "Now, Sam, what happened at the tower?" *** Vimes: "I didn't know we did this sort of thing!" *** ...Sam Vimes had learned a lot from watching Lady Sybil. She didn't mean to act like that, but she'd been born to it, into a class that had always behaved this way: you went through the world as if there was no possibility that anyone would stop you or question you, and most of the time that's exactly what didn't happen. -- How to be aristocratic *** The way the thing was guarded was a joke. Nobby and Colon could have done it better. Much better, he corrected himself, because they had devious little minds and that was what made them coppers. *** He'd noticed that sex bore some resembalance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipies and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were hungry they created vas banquets in their imagination -- but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato. *** It amazed him what people got up to when they had time on their hands. *** GOOD MORNING. *** IT'S QUITE THE NEW THING. IT'S BECAUSE OF THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE. *** It wasn't just that his brain was writing cheques that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions. *** The whole idea of fighting was to stop the other bloke hitting you as soon as possible. It wasn't to earn marks. *** Vimes: "Can you make him well?" *** It was a mining axe, with a pick point on one side, in order to go prospecting, and a real axe blade on the other, in case anyone tried to stop you. *** Oh, good greif, thought Vimes, watching Dee's face as the others shuffled in. There must be a manual. Every copper knows how this goes. You let 'em know you know they've done something wrong, but you don't tell 'em what it is and you certainly don't tell 'em how much you know, and you keep 'em off balance, and you just talk quietly and ... you keep the threat in view but you never refer to it, oh no. Because there's nothing you can do to them that their imagination isn't already doing to themselves. And you keep it up until they break, or in the case of my old dame school, until they feel their boots get damp. *** Igor: "I've heard that in Ankh-Morpork bodieth jutht lie around in the threetth for anyone to take away!" *** "He'th got hith grandfather'th handth, you know." *** |
My name is Radostina Georgieva, "Roddy".
I live in California.
I enjoy travelling, reading books, listening to music, going to the movies.
I am constantly looking for ways to challenge myself, learn, and grow.