1. Termini [01.06.99; Milen Lazarov]
2. Gadnichko [06.06.99; Milen Lazarov]
3. Programmers [28.06.99; Nasko Aladjov]
4. Nasty [30.06.99; Venko Ivanov]

Termini

Программер снял тёлку и приволок домой.
Во время этого дела у гёрлы случился эпилептический припадок.
Она стала биться в конвульсиях, извиваться и стонать.
Парниша получил, такой кайф, которого у него никогда не было.
Ну слез он с неё, а она всё в припадке бьётся.
Вызвал он скорую. Врач спрашивает, в чём дело?
- Да, кажись, у неё оргазм завис!

Gadnichko

два студента-медика делают вскpытие свежего тpупа в анатомическом театpе. обычные студенты, без кpутых денег от пап-мам и пpизедентских степендий - существа вечно голодные.
Один дpугому говоpит: "Слушай, давай посмотpим, что он сегодня ел? О! смотpи, гpечневая каша! Будешь? Hет? Hу как хочешь...."
Достаёт ложку и навоpачивает пpямо из вскpытого желудка. Втоpой жадными глазами смотpит..  и говоpит: "Ой, А там тебе волосок попался!"
Пеpвый всё сблёвывает обpатно.
Втоpой, доставая ложку: "Hу вот, а тепеpь я тёпленького поем...."

Programmers

Дъщеря пита майка си (програмистка):
- Мамо, защо ние жените имаме "критични дни"?
- Господ така е направил. (програмистка, ама религиозна...)
- А защо?
- Отишла Ева при него и казала - "Боже, направи така че да можем да правим секс с Адам". А Господ попитал - "Какво е това секс". "Ами как да ти обясня - вкарваш го и започваш да си играеш".
И така, Бог направил жената по технологията "Plug and Play".
- А какво общо има тук месечният цикъл?
- Е, ти виждала ли си "Plug and Play" без бъгове?

***

Системен администратор на доставчик на интернет отива в казармата. Граничар. Стои на пост и чува стъпки.
- Кажи паролата?
Тишина.
- Кажи паролата?
Тишина.
- Кажи паролата?
Тишина. Автоматен откос.
- User Anonymous Access Denied.

***

 - Хpистос возкpесе!
 - Fixed.

Nasty

A guy was in prison for ten years before finally getting released. Of course, the first thing on his mind was sex and he immediately headed for the whorehouse. Unfortunately, the prison release program only provided him with a new suit and ten dollars.
He walked into the whorehouse and laid the ten dollar bill on the counter. "I wanna eat some pussy!"
"Where've you been," said the old fellow behind the desk. "Ten dollars won't by you squat."
"Listen buddy," said the ex con, pulling him out of his chair slightly by the shirt collar. "I wanna eat some pussy, and I want it now."
"Okay, okay," gasped the attendant, "I'll see what I can do." He then brought the ex-con through to the very back of the whorehouse, into a dingy old room encrusted with filth. Inside the room was a bed with a ragged lady laying with her legs spread open. "She's your for ten dollars," said the attendant. The guy paid and went in.
He began eating. After a while he came across a piece of egg. "That's funny," he thought to himself, "I don't think I had eggs for breakfast." He spit it out and kept eating away. Next he found a piece of chipped beef wedged between his front teeth. "I'm sure I haven't eaten chipped beef this week," he thought, but he kept on. Then he came across the corn.
"I know I haven't eaten any corn lately," he said sitting up. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"Ya know," replied the whore, "that's what the last guy said."