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roddy-bg My name is Radostina Georgieva, "Roddy".
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en 1. Return of the Matrix -- The Sequel, Episode $$$ [05.11.03; Nikolay Nikolov]

Return of the Matrix -- The Sequel, Episode $$$

Scene I

Setting: In the swamps of Zion.

Morpheus: [ with much spit and slobber ]
B-b-b-b-b ... Neo! Yousa da one!

Neo: [ questioningly ]
Dude?

Morpheus:
Yousa gonna teach Z-z-z-zion howza fight! B-b-b-b-b-b!

Neo: [ righteously ]
Dude.

Trinity:
Help us, Johnny Mnemonic! You're our only hope!

Neo: [ emphatically ]
Dude!

Scene II

Setting: In the Matrix world, which looks suspiciously like Rivendell placed on the Forest Moon of Endor.

Agent Smith:
Hobbits ... are a disease. And I -- we -- are the cure.

Neo: [ puzzled ]
Dude?

[ Agent SMITH divides like an amoeba, but unsuccessfully. The second Agent MINI-SMITH is only 1/4 the size of the original. ]

Mini-Smith:
Ki-yii!
[ Uses martial arts to punch and kick NEO, along with the larger SMITH. ]

Neo: [ startled ]
Dudes!

[ Fighting ensues. At each punch at a SMITH, the SMITH divides into more MINI-SMITHS. The MINI-SMITHS mainly try to bite NEO's crotch. ]

Neo: [ pleading ]
Dudes!!??!!

[ All the population of ZION appears. Most of them look like Ewoks. Most of the Ewoks of ZION are wearing pink.]

Ewoks of Zion: [ caringly ]
Ooooo! They're so cute!!!

[ ZION swarms MINI-SMITHS ]

Mini-Smiths:
Nooooo!!
[ MINI-SMITHS run away; as they are beaten they are dividing into more MICRO-MINI-SMITHS on the way. ]

Neo: [ victoriously ]
Dudes!!!

SCENE III

Setting: A parade field in the landing bay of an Imperial Star Destroyer.

Trinity:
For bravery in the face of danger, and the best played game of 3D Tic-Tac-Toe Hogwarts has seen in many a year, I award you this diploma. No, wait, you get the medal.

[ TRINITY kisses NEO ]
Neo: [ lustily ]
Dudette!

Ewoks:
Awwww!

[ EWOKS break into joyous song of celebration. Roll credits. ]

SCENE IV

Setting: Theatre lobbies around the nation.

Audience: [ waving pitchforks and brandishing torches ]
We want our money back!

Wachowskis: [ laughing, on the way to bank ]
Ka-ching, suckers! Did you really think it would end any other way?

 
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