1. My First Time [04.03.99; Radostina Georgieva]
2. The Ballerina [09.03.99; Radostina Georgieva]
3. Children... [15.03.99; Radostina Georgieva]
4. Lovec [22.03.99; Mitko Mitev]
5. Returning Home Unexpectedly [24.03.99; Radostina Georgieva]
6. Gynecologist Exam [26.03.99; Nasko Aladjov]
7. Car pool [31.03.99; Radostina Georgieva]

My First Time

The sky was dark, the moon was high
All alone, just her and I
Her hair so soft, her eyes so blue
I knew just what she wanted to do
Her skin so soft, her legs so fine
I ran my fingers down her spine
I didn't know how but I tried my best
To place my hand on her breasts
I remember my fear, my fast beating heart
But slowly she spread her legs apart
And when she did it I felt no shame
All at once the white stuff came
At last it's finished, it's all over now
My first time milking a cow!

The Ballerina

This big, nasty, sweaty woman wearing a sleeveless sundress walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big, hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks,
"What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent,as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of thebar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the barand says,
"Bartender! I want to buy that ballerina adrink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the womanchugs it down. After she's completed the drink, sheturns again to the patrons and points around at allof them, again revealing her hairy armpit, saying,
"Whatman out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again thelittle drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says,
"Bartender! I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartenderapproaches the little drunk and says,
"It's your businessif you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do youcall her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies,
"Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"

Children...

Dad came home one day in an exceptionally horny mood and took his wife upstairs for sex.  Just when they were really getting into it, their young son entered the room and started to cry.
"What's wrong, son?" the father asked.  "Why are you crying?"
"You're hurting my mommy," the little boy replied.
"No, no," the father reassured. "I'm not hurting her. We are making babies."
This seemed to calm the boy, and when he left the room the couplewent back to their business.
The next day the father came home from work and found his son onthe steps, crying.
"What's the matter NOW?" asked Dad.
"It's those babies you were making with mommy yesterday,"the boy answered. "The mailman is upstairs eating them."

Lovec

Krai edno selo se poiavila mechka stravnica deto pravela mnogo pakostireshil nai lichnia momak na seloto da ia trepetragnal edin den da ia garmi i ia vizhda na edna polianka. garmi ama neia uluchva i pochva edna luda gonitba, kato mechkata se skrivav edna peshtera. vliza momaka v peshterata i pochva da garmi dokato musvarshvat patronite, kato se razseiva dima niakoi go potupva po ramoto i toi gleda machkata
- sega kazhi da te iam li ili da te eba
- be mlad sa oste ne varvi da me iadeshi svalil toi gastite i se fanal za palcite taka i na dryguduia denna tretia pak se razigrava sastia action.
kato go hvanala mechkata go pita:
- abe chudia se ti pedal li si ili lovec?

Returning Home Unexpectedly

A husband went to work at 9 in the morning as usual. For some reason he had to be back home later during the daywhile running some errands.When he entered the house,he was surprised to see his wife in bed with a man whohad his head between her breasts.
The husband demanded, "What on earth are you doing?"
To which the stranger nonchalantly replied, "Quiet! I am listening to music !!"
The husband shoved the stranger aside and said, "Let me listen!" and placed his head on his wife's breasts. He exclaimed in suspicion, "I don't seem to hear any music."
"Of course not," quipped the stranger, "You're not plugged in!"

Gynecologist Exam

 A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.The doctor took one look at this woman and all hisprofessionalism went out the window.He immediately told her to undress. After she haddisrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so,he asked her:
"Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasionsor dermatological abnormalities."
"That is right,"said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breasts."Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumpsor breast cancer."
"Correct," replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mountedhis patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.He asked,
"Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place."

Car pool

It's Harold's first day in the car pool. They honk the horn in front of his house and he comes running out. He gets about halfway down the walk when he hears a grunt and the sound of his wife's foot tapping on the porch. He turns around and there she is, scowling at him.
He runs back to the steps, spreads her bathrobe, bends over, kisses her on the snatch, runs back down the walk and hops in the car.
They ride in silence for a few minutes, until Burnett,the driver, can't stand it. Burnett asks, "Harold, it's none of my business, but why did you kiss her down there?"
Harold says, "You wouldn't believe her breath in the morning."